Don’t Let Parenting Fears Stop You from Becoming Parents to Your Teens

Learn to give freedom to your teens

 

parenting fears

 

In the past, parents allowed their kids to play outside whole day, walk to school, and other fun physical activities. Yet times have changed and so are parents’ attitude on how to raise their adolescents. These days, parents are overwhelmed by their parenting fears. Especially when it comes to their teens, they get so worried they constantly keep tabs on where they are and what they are doing.

It is no secret that parenting a teenager is one of the hardest responsibilities that parents do. Adolescents undergo many changes that may develop passive-aggressive behavior or self-consciousness that may lead to constant self-doubt or overconfidence and moodiness.

Parents have no control over parenting fears. Plus, the media’s sensationalized representation of the hazards that teens are exposed today fuels more of these parenting fears. These lead to the parenting style called helicopter parenting. It is when a parent or parents try to supervise or control everything that their kids experience. Yes, it does help in keeping their children safe, but it does more harm in the long run. Kids, especially teens, need to learn to do things on their own. They need to experience the act of talking to strangers, organizing things with their friends, and even failures. The lessons that they will get from these experiences will help in their development as individuals.

Here are some simple ways to avoid being overwhelmed by your parenting fears:

  1. Stop putting your worry on your teen’s back. Try to let go of your negative thoughts. Start believing in your teen’s ability and encourage them to help them build self-confidence.
  2. Don’t put labels on your teens. Allow your teen to become or decide what she wants to be. Words are very powerful, so be careful.
  3. Your teen will disagree with you; get used to it. Remember that the adolescent stage is where your kids start to crave independence. So don’t take it personally if he or she disagrees with you. If his or her ideas and opinions are different, respect them.
  4. Provide space for your teen. Adolescents would love to have space where they can feel safe by themselves. Allow them some time alone, especially after an argument.
  5. Don’t judge or stop constantly giving advice. Learn how to listen to your teen without butting in, criticizing, interrupting, or offering advice. Your teen needs to feel that they are valued by you and understood. They need you to listen without you interrupting them.
  6. Common ground. It is important for parents to find common interests with their teens. These common interests will be the bridge to connect you with your teen. Common interests such as sports, fashion, music, or movies can become a topic to talk about. This will help your teens feel more comfortable in opening their feelings to you.
  7. Expect rejection. Your attempts to connect with them will usually be met with irritation, annoyance, and other negative reactions. Be patient and relaxed. Allow your teens to cool off and try again. Remember, it will take time and effort to connect with your adolescent teens.

 

Always keep in mind that teenagers have unique needs, likes, and personalities. However, no matter how independent they may look, how withdrawn or disconnected to your family they may seem, or how troubled they may appear, your teenagers still needs your love, attention, and understanding. Be patient with them, and don’t allow your parenting fears to become obstacles to their development.

Need more advice about parenting? Comment below, and let us discuss your ideas. Also, you can check out my book, Train Up a Child. Or message me on TwitterFacebook, and Goodreads.

 

References

Birnbaum, Cara. n.d. “How to Let Go of Your Fears and Give Your Child More Freedom.” Parents Magazine. Accessed on October 2017. http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/how-to-let-go-of-your-fears-and-give-your-child-more-freedom/.

de Becker, Gavin. n.d. “How to Reduce Worry.” Family Education. Accessed on October 2017. https://www.familyeducation.com/life/adjusting-new-motherhood/how-reduce-worry.

Pincus, Debbie. n.d. “How to Stop Worrying and Avoid Helicopter Parenting: Don’t Do These 6 Things.” Empowering Parents. Accessed on October 2017. https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-stop-worrying-and-avoid-helicopter-parenting-dont-do-these-6-things/.

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